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Something was lost in the Translation
Humorous translation errors from around the world.
 In
a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do
such thing is please not to read notis.
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In
a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that
you will be unbearable.
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In
a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
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In
a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should
enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor.
Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
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In
a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
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In
a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and
11 am. daily.
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In
a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
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In
a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
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In
the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet
composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
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In
an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of
ascension.
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On
the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
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On
the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the
form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the
country people's fashion.
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Outside
a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
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In
a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
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Outside
a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.
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In
a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in
strict rotation.
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A
sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of
different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent
unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
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In
a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in
the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
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In
an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
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In
a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good
time.
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In
a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.
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Advertisement
for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
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In
a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today -- no ice cream.
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In
a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
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In
a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
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In
a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
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On
the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
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In
a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
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In
a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to
the guard on duty.
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In
the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
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In
an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
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In
a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the
long run.
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From
a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please
control yourself.
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From
a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him
melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle
him with vigor.
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Two
signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
- English well talking. - Here speeching American.
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Sign
in a shop in Merida, Mexico:
Broken English spoken fluently.
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More...
"Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."
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from
a Swiss restaurant menu
"When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him
melodiously at first but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle
him with vigour."
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from
a Tokyo car rental brochure
"The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid."
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-
in
a Yugoslavian hotel
"Please leave your values at the front desk."
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in
a Paris hotel
"The manager has personally passed all the water served here."
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in
an Acapulco hotel
"Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."
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in
a Norwegian cocktail lounge
"If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it."
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in
a Moscow hotel
"We take your bags and send them in all directions."
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in
a Copenhagen airline ticket office
"You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."
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in
a Japanese hotel
"Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of
ascension."
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in
an Austrian ski hotel
"Cooles and Heates if you want just condition of warm in your room, please
control yourself."
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air
conditioner instructions, Japanese hotel
"Special cocktails for the lady with nuts."
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in
a Tokyo bar
"English well talking. Here speaching American."
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from
a Majorcan shop
Huge Corporations Screw up, too...
When Braniff translated a slogan touting its upholstery, "Fly in leather,"
it came out in Spanish as "Fly naked."
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-
Coors
put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it read as "Suffer
from diarrhea."
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Chicken
magnate Frank Perdue's line, "It takes a tough man to make a tender
chicken," sounds much more interesting in Spanish: "It takes a sexually
stimulated man to make a chicken affectionate."
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When
Vicks first introduced its cough drops on the German market, they were
chagrined to learn that the German pronunciation of "v" is f - which in
German is the guttural equivalent of "sexual penetration."
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Not
to be outdone, Puffs tissues tried later to introduce its product, only to
learn that "Puff" is German is a colloquial term for a whorehouse.
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The
English weren't too fond of the name either, as it's a highly derogatory
term for a homosexual.
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The
Chevy Nova never sold well in Spanish-speaking countries. "No va" means
"it doesn't go" in Spanish.
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When
Pepsi started marketing its products in China a few years back, they
translated their slogan, "Pepsi Brings You Back to Life" pretty literally.
The slogan in Chinese really meant, "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back from
the Grave."
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When
Coca-Cola first shipped to China, they named the product something that
when pronounced sounded like "Coca-Cola." The only problem was that the
characters used meant "Bite the wax tadpole." They later changed to a set
of characters that mean "Happiness in the mouth."
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A
hair products company, Clairol, introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling
iron, into Germany only to find out that mist is slang for manure. Not too
many people had use for the manure stick.
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When
Gerber first started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same
packaging as here in the USA--with the cute baby on the label. Later they
found out that in Africa companies routinely put pictures on the label of
what's inside, for people that can't read.
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These
are supposedly actual Hong Kong Movie Subtitles.
1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.
2. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.
3. Gun wounds again?
4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.
5. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.
6. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!
7. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.
8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?
9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.
10. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.
11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!
12. You daring lousy guy.
13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!
14. I have been scared shitless too much lately.
15. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!
16. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.
17. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?
18. How can you use my intestines as a gift?
19. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure
you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the
dessert flour for your aunts to eat.
20. Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits
and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough
extermination.
21. Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up
together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets
on some ass of the giant lizard person.
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